Divorce is a painful topic for many, and people often wonder what the Bible says about it. For Christians, understanding God’s view on divorce can bring clarity and comfort during tough times. The Bible gives specific reasons why divorce might happen, rooted in God’s design for marriage as a sacred bond. This article looks at three reasons for divorce in the Bible, explained in simple terms with clear scripture references. Whether you’re facing challenges in your marriage or just want to learn more, this guide offers biblical wisdom to help you understand God’s heart. Let’s explore these reasons with a focus on hope, healing, and God’s guidance for your life.
What Does the Bible Say About Divorce?
The Bible sees marriage as a holy commitment between a man and a woman, created by God to last a lifetime (Genesis 2:24, NIV). Divorce is not part of God’s original plan, but because humans sin and relationships can break, the Bible allows divorce in certain cases. These reasons are grounded in God’s love and justice, balancing the importance of marriage with the reality of human struggles. Let’s look at the three main reasons the Bible gives for divorce, supported by scripture and explained in a way that’s easy to understand.
Reason 1: Adultery Breaks the Marriage Covenant
What is Adultery in the Bible?
Adultery happens when one spouse is unfaithful by having a sexual relationship outside the marriage. The Bible calls this a serious sin because it breaks the trust and commitment of marriage. In Matthew 19:9 (ESV), Jesus says, “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” Here, “sexual immorality” includes adultery, showing it as a valid reason for divorce.
Why Adultery Allows Divorce
Marriage is a covenant, a sacred promise before God. Adultery violates this promise, hurting the relationship deeply. In the Old Testament, God allowed divorce for this reason because it damages the heart of marriage (Deuteronomy 24:1-4, NIV). Biblical scholar John MacArthur explains that adultery “shatters the oneness of marriage,” making it hard to restore trust. However, forgiveness is possible if both spouses are willing to heal and rebuild.
Healing or Moving Forward
If adultery happens, the Bible encourages forgiveness and reconciliation when possible (Ephesians 4:32). But if the unfaithful spouse does not repent, divorce may be permitted. This doesn’t mean divorce is required—God’s heart is for restoration. Couples can seek counseling, prayer, and support from their church to work through the pain. For those who choose divorce, God offers grace and a path to healing.
Reason 2: Abandonment by an Unbelieving Spouse
What is Abandonment in the Bible?
Abandonment happens when one spouse leaves the marriage without reason or refuses to fulfill their role as a husband or wife. The Bible specifically addresses this when the abandoning spouse is not a believer. In 1 Corinthians 7:15 (NIV), Paul writes, “But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The believer is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.”
Why Abandonment Allows Divorce
When a non-believing spouse abandons the marriage, they reject the commitment made before God. This can include physically leaving or emotionally withdrawing, refusing to act as a partner. Paul’s words show that the believing spouse is not obligated to stay in a marriage that the other has abandoned. Scholar Wayne Grudem notes that this allowance protects the believer from being trapped in a broken relationship, allowing them to live in peace.
Practical Steps for Believers
If you’re facing abandonment, pray for wisdom and seek support from your church community. The Bible encourages staying faithful to your marriage if the unbelieving spouse is willing to stay (1 Corinthians 7:13-14). But if they leave, you are free to move forward. This freedom is not a command to divorce but an option for peace and healing. Trust God to guide you through this difficult time.
Reason 3: Hardness of Heart in Extreme Cases
Understanding Hardness of Heart
The Bible mentions “hardness of heart” as a reason divorce was permitted in the Old Testament. In Matthew 19:8 (KJV), Jesus says, “Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.” This refers to situations where a spouse’s heart becomes so stubborn or sinful that the marriage cannot continue.
What Does This Mean Today?
Hardness of heart can include ongoing abuse, neglect, or refusal to honor the marriage. While the Bible doesn’t list abuse as a specific reason for divorce, many scholars, like David Instone-Brewer, argue that extreme cases of harm fall under this category. God values the safety and well-being of His people. If a spouse’s actions make the marriage unsafe or unbearable, divorce may be a last resort.
Seeking God’s Guidance
If you’re in a marriage with abuse or neglect, seek help immediately. Talk to a pastor, counselor, or trusted Christian friend. The Bible calls us to protect life and seek peace (Psalm 34:14). Divorce in these cases is not taken lightly but can be a step toward safety and healing. God’s love covers you, even in the hardest moments.
How to Respond to Divorce Biblically
Forgiveness and Reconciliation
The Bible always points to forgiveness as the first step in any broken relationship (Colossians 3:13, NIV). If divorce is being considered, try to seek reconciliation through prayer, counseling, and open communication. God can restore even the most broken marriages when both spouses are willing to change.
Seeking Support
No one should face divorce alone. The Bible encourages community support (Galatians 6:2). Reach out to your church, a Christian counselor, or a support group. These resources can offer guidance, prayer, and practical help as you navigate your situation.
Trusting God’s Plan
Whether you stay married or face divorce, God has a plan for your life. Romans 8:28 (ESV) says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.” Trust that God’s love and grace will carry you through, offering hope for the future.
Common Questions About Divorce in the Bible
Here are answers to questions people often ask about divorce and the Bible:
- Does God hate divorce? Yes, Malachi 2:16 (NIV) says God hates divorce because it breaks the covenant of marriage. But God also loves people and offers grace to those who face divorce.
- Can I remarry after divorce? The Bible allows remarriage in cases of adultery or abandonment (Matthew 19:9, 1 Corinthians 7:15). Pray for wisdom and seek godly counsel before deciding.
- What if I caused the divorce? God offers forgiveness to all who repent (1 John 1:9). Confess your mistakes, seek forgiveness, and trust God to guide your next steps.
| Question | Biblical Answer | Scripture Reference |
|---|---|---|
| Does God hate divorce? | Yes, but He loves and forgives people. | Malachi 2:16 |
| Can I remarry after divorce? | Yes, in cases of adultery or abandonment. | Matthew 19:9, 1 Corinthians 7:15 |
| What if I caused the divorce? | God forgives those who repent. | 1 John 1:9 |
Conclusion
Divorce is never God’s plan, but the Bible gives three clear reasons it may happen: adultery, abandonment by an unbelieving spouse, and hardness of heart in extreme cases. These reasons show God’s balance of honoring marriage while caring for those in broken relationships. By turning to scripture, prayer, and Christian community, you can find guidance and healing, whether you’re working to save your marriage or facing divorce. Reflect on these truths and ask God to lead you. If you’re seeking more wisdom, talk to a pastor or read the Bible to grow closer to God’s heart. His love and grace are always with you.
References
- Bible Gateway for Scripture References
- John MacArthur’s Commentary on Marriage
- David Instone-Brewer’s Work on Divorce in the Bible
- Wayne Grudem’s Systematic Theology
I’m a pastor who loves teaching the Bible. For over 8 years, I’ve been sharing God’s Word with churches and folks like you. I started BiblicalLearners.com because I want everyone to understand the Bible better, whether you’re new to faith or have been walking with God for years.
I write every post with prayer and care, using the Bible and trusted resources to get it right. My hope is that these articles spark your love for God’s Word and help you see His hand in your life.